i haven’t written here for more than two weeks. for once, it wasn’t because i was sad, uninspired, or avoiding my thoughts. i was simply busy having one of the most eventful weeks i’ve had in a long time.
beebee came to town, and what was originally supposed to be a short stay somehow turned into a 5 days 4 nights sleepover. the rest of it? i’ll save some parts for another entry. but this story deserves its own page first.
beebee originally planned to come for just 3 days and 2 nights, but it stretched longer because her father had work and couldn’t pick her up yet. if i’m being honest, i was secretly relieved. overjoyed, even. it was a much needed cousins sleepover, and truthfully, i wasn’t done spilling my heart out yet.
the main reason beebee came was because of me. she already knew bits and pieces about my breakup, but she told me to save the full story because she wanted to hear it in person when she came, not over the phone. she was supposed to be preparing for her internship, yet she still made the special trip just to physically and mentally be there for me.
that meant more to me than she probably realizes.
friday afternoon was the first day she arrived, and i was still asleep. very on brand for me. she told me to just take my time and come over in the evening since we were staying at my grandma’s house, which is just five minutes walking distance away. so i got ready, put on makeup, waited for my sister to come home from school, and we walked there together.
even without transportation, we somehow always make things work. we took a grab car to town and went to skechers because beebee wanted to buy a new pair of shoes for her internship uniform. then we went to watsons because i only wanted to buy overnight pads since it was my first day of period and i wanted a comfortable sleepover.
but me being me, i walked in for one thing and came out paying rm91 with two new lip products. classic behavior. after that, we crossed the road to a vape shop to stock up on vape flavors. i bought a new flavor i had never tried before and hated it immediately. what a waste of money, but life goes on. then we went to the newly opened second kopi saigon branch next door. we were skeptical because the first branch here wasn’t as good as the peninsular ones, but surprisingly, this one was decent. still not the same though.
how is that even possible? don’t they use the same ingredients and measurements?
after that, we took another grab car to popular bookstore. it had been a while since i went there, so i was excited. we stayed longer than expected, looking through everything. i managed to stop myself from buying too much because i was still recovering from the watsons splurge.
then, for some reason, we decided to walk ten minutes under the evening sun to the supermarket. we laughed the whole way there and i even vlogged parts of it. rewatching those clips now still makes me laugh.
at the supermarket, we went into guardian first and for once, i bought nothing. then we went into the grocery section and bought snacks and frozen food for the sleepover. we also bought a little liquid courage because i lowkey needed it.
we got home around 8pm. we decided to go home early because we have a long night ahead of us. so after washing up and talking nonsense, we opened a can of beer and played cards against humanity. we decided whoever won would get their own popcorn for the movie the next day. beebee was the judge. and can you guess who won?
me, of course. (yes, i do in fact have humanity in me).
later that night, i opened the soju and finally spilled my heart out. weeks of heaviness came pouring out of me. i talked, cried, stammered, struggled to find the right words, and somehow they still understood everything i meant to say. they cried while i cried. it was one of the warmest feelings i’ve had in a long time.
after laying all my cards on the table, we went to bed around 4am. but i couldn’t sleep until 6am. i had to play soothing rain sounds on spotify before my mind finally gave up.
i only had four hours of sleep and woke up with a horrible hangover. but i pushed through. during the afternoon, beebee ordered takeout for us and we helped do some paperwork that her father left behind. after mistakes, reprints, and a few mini disasters, we finished around 6pm.
then we all got ready for an 8pm movie. we watched lee cronin’s the mummy and let me just say, it was amazing. the suspense, the twists, the gore, the pacing. as someone who loves that kind of horror, i was fully satisfied. i’ll write a review on it soon. stay tuned.
after the movie, we went home around 11:30pm, washed up, and went straight to the kitchen to cook midnight supper (chicken nuggets, maggi, sausages, fries, crab sticks). i did most of the cooking because there was a huge cockroach in the kitchen and apparently i was the only one brave enough to stay in there while avoiding it. in return, they cooked my maggi for me. fair trade. we ordered drinks and watched three episodes of pretty little liars until rizz fell asleep mid-episode. we were so annoyed because she was missing all the drama.
the next day, beebee was supposed to go home. she had showered, packed, gotten ready, and we had already started feeling sad. then her father called and said he’d pick her up on wednesday instead because he had work.
we were overjoyed, extension granted.
my mom called us over because she had prepared food, so after two days of takeout and processed food, we finally had a home-cooked meal.
after lunch, they wanted to watch the possession of hannah grace. i had already seen it, so while they watched, i painted my nails deep maroon. after that, more pll.
pretty little liars genuinely became our identity that week. i introduced it to them and they became obsessed. they kept begging me for spoilers and i refused every time. sorry girls, mystery must be respected.
later that night, it was just me and beebee because the other girls had exams so they need to study for it. beebee ordered pizza and we watched pll in bed. she became suspicious of every character and kept asking if they were evil. i just shrugged. at one point she said she was starting to hate me for not giving spoilers. we laughed so much.
but in between episodes, we also talked deeply. about family, relationships, life. those late-night talks were one of the best parts.
that night, i couldn’t sleep at all, not one minute. i tossed, turned, listened to rain sounds, reread my own blog entries, watched comfy korean vlogs, thinking about everything yet nothing at the same time. but my mind refused to rest. that was the first time i had ever stayed awake for 24 hours straight.
later, we went out again. i found a book at popular called if we ever meet again by ana huang. it was about two people who fell in love, but they only have one year together, and there are forces outside their control that threaten to rip them apart. very fitting, i know.
we had dinner with my uncle and i discovered he was actually funny. i rarely see him and sit together at the table with him, so it was very refreshing to gossip with him about our family. then we got chagee, drove all the way to the cinema just to buy popcorn for pll night, and went home.
tuesday was slower. beebee and i slept in until 1pm, had lunch, then went out just the two of us. we went to moomaa, a store that sells local cosmetic brands because beebee wanted to buy her foundation and i bought a travel perfume. then we went to tini & co, i almost went crazy because it was a cute store selling stainless steel jewelry and hair accessories, but i just bought a simple small gold hoop earring that i can wear everyday, which was so freaking overpriced but it's alright. beebee bought us matching friendship bracelets. i’m wearing mine right now as i type this.
for dinner, we ordered chagee (again) and 4fingers for takeout. before going home, i stopped at a vape shop and somehow found my favorite flavor on the shelf, the one that was supposedly banned. i bought two immediately.
that night was our last sleepover night. after the girls left, i asked beebee to watch someone great with me because i didn’t have the strength to watch it alone. she cried through the whole movie. i laughed and asked why she was crying when i was the one who got broken up with. she said because the movie felt exactly like my situation, and she was sad for me. that touched me more than i let on.
i held my tears in until jenny read her poem, then i cried hard.
after the movie, we talked seriously. about my relationship. about what i should do next. beebee gave me harsh truths, bitter truths, but exactly what i needed to hear. then we laughed again, watched more pll, and slept around 5am.
that night, i slept soundly. like the heaviness in my chest had finally lifted.
at 12pm, beebee went home. i was sad. the days with them distracted me from my sadness and loneliness.
but before leaving, she reminded me that i would heal and spark again. that i was the strongest woman she knew. that she didn’t feel heavy leaving me because she knew i’d be okay.
huhu. i love you beebee.
thank you for making time to see us, especially me. thank you for coming to tawau, spending time with us, treating us to food, giving me advice, reminding me of my worth, and helping me get back on my feet again. i am the way i am, and i am strong because i have people i love like you.
oh, and... i have one more story to tell. about me, him, and us. but i’ll save it for another day.
xoxo, a.