it’s been nine months since i last wrote here. nine whole months of silence, living, becoming, unraveling, and stitching myself back together again. it’s already 2026. my birthday is in three days, i’m turning 24. that feels unreal to say out loud.
so much has changed in my life since my last entry. i’ve met new people, i’ve lost some along the way. a lot has happened, a lot has shifted, yet somehow some things stayed exactly the same. i’m still in love with my boyfriend, i’m still rewatching pretty little liars like it’s my first time watching it, i still love the colour pink, i still order an iced matcha latte whenever i can. one significant thing that is different of myself is my hair is shorter now. i chopped it off, but i miss my long hair, so i wear extensions whenever i go out. a compromise between who i was and who i am now, i guess.
if i had to recall the biggest milestones since i last wrote here, i finished my final semester at upsi. that chapter closed quietly. right now, i’m undergoing my internship at a podcast studio in petaling jaya. i’m almost done, one more month to go. thinking about that makes my stomach twist a little because i still need to prepare a presentation and write a 3000-word report. i should probably be doing that right now, but instead, i’m here. writing, avoiding, procrastinating, as usual.
i’m currently living in bukit jalil, just a 15-minute walk away from the national stadium. my room is on level 29. living this high up really did change something in me. the view is different, the wind is always strong. it reminds me that perspective matters. my room is small, just a single room, but it’s mine. i have my own space, my own quiet, my own freedom. i can do whatever my heart desires in here, and that alone makes it enough. the apartment is close to the train station, so i’ve been going out a lot more. mostly alone which i love. alone time is important to me. necessary, even. being by myself never felt lonely, it feels like coming back home.
lately, i’ve been clearing out my closet and listing almost 40% of my clothes to sell. i’m going back to my hometown soon, so i need to reduce my things. i’m such a hoarder, but some things are non-negotiable. my paper bag collection is coming with me, no discussions.
i’ve also been online shopping less. adulting happened. bills, commitments, responsibilities. sigh. but somehow i end up shopping more in physical stores now, which is actually worse for my wallet. like, make it make sense. but on the bright side, i got to see more of kl now that i live closer to the city than i did during my degree days. the city feels different when you’re not rushing to class all the time.
i’ve been seeing my boyfriend almost every week too. that’s been nice, comforting and familiar in the best way.
during this internship, i met two amazing girls who somehow became my best friends in such a short time. they’re people i can fully be myself around, without filtering my words or shrinking my presence. they accept me as i am, habits and all. our habits are so similar it feels almost funny. we’ve only known each other for three months, but i clicked with them faster than i ever did with anyone else. i’m grateful for that kind of connection.
on the other hand, i’ve also cut off and removed some truly disgusting people from my life, both offline and online. i feel lighter now. i don’t have to keep cutting myself short just to make others comfortable. i don’t have to seek validation from people who never cared about my feelings in the first place. there are moments when i wish i had spoken up more, said what i really wanted to say, instead of protecting their feelings. but i don’t want to dwell on that. good riddance. they’re out of my life for good, and i’m genuinely grateful that god showed me that lesson when he did.
this entry turned out longer than i expected for an update. funny how once i start writing, it just keeps flowing.
i’ll try to write here more often from now on. no promises, though. so, until next time.
xoxo, A.