when you told me that we would meet again at the best version of us, i used to hear it as distance, as something uncertain and painful. but now, i’m starting to hear it differently. maybe it’s not an ending, maybe it’s a quiet kind of faith that what we have is strong enough to grow, even when we are not side by side.
we’re not dating but we’re loyal to each other, and that used to confuse me. it felt like standing in between something real and something undefined. but now i see it as a choice we both made in our own way. a choice not to force something before we are ready, and not to replace each other just because it’s easier.
i’ll heal and wait for you until our time is right, not in a way that puts my life on hold, but in a way that allows me to grow into someone better. and in that space, you are still someone i choose, quietly and sincerely. no one else above you, not because i’m stuck, but because what we had was real enough to stay. i hope i can wait for you for a long time and i hope i can endure the trials that i will go through in life.
you said we might be on different paths for now, and maybe that’s exactly what we need. not as a separation, but as a process. this is where we learn who we are on our own, where we become stronger, more certain, more whole. instead of seeing this as losing each other, i’m choosing to see it as preparing for something better, something more stable, something that can actually last when the time comes. i hope everything is possible, even if it’s not with you for now.
i don’t regret choosing you. i never have, and i don’t think i ever will. some people come into your life and leave lessons, but you came into mine and left something much deeper than that. something that doesn’t disappear just because circumstances changed. and that’s why i don’t want to turn this into something heavy or bitter. i want to remember it as something good, something that shaped me in the best way.
so i’ll keep moving forward. i’ll keep building my life, finding my own happiness, becoming someone i’m proud of. i won’t wait in a way that makes me feel stuck, but i will hold onto you in a way that feels calm and certain. like trusting that if something is truly meant for me, it will find its way back without needing to be forced.
because if one day you decide to come back and try again, find me, text me, call me, don’t be scared. not because i’ve been standing still this whole time, but because i chose to grow while still believing in us. and when that time comes, i hope we’ll choose each other out of certainty, not out of habit. i will keep my promise, and i will continue to wait for you, no matter how uncertain the ending may be. i just want you to know that choosing you is something i have never ever regretted.
so what are we?
we are not something broken or unfinished. we are something that is still becoming, still growing, still finding its right time. and maybe, when that time finally comes, we won’t just meet again as who we were, but as who we were always meant to be, together.
xoxo, a.